Link and the Moving Castle
by Famid
Summary: Link breaks into Howl's castle, thinking it's another dungeon. Meanwhile, Sophie and Howl wonder at the odd noises coming from upstairs . . .
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own neither Howl's Moving Castle nor _The Legend of Zelda_.

"_Link and the Moving Castle_"

Chapter One: The Walking Temple

I saw it.

I was out of Hyrule limits in a field far away. It stomped through lakes as if they were puddles. The deserts were its sandbox. The legs were those of a cuccoo's.

How vile.

This secret dungeon had a face, as if it wanted me to destroy it. It's probably an inside job, I thought. Something this bizarre had to hold something good inside. Maybe I would get a weapon that could beat Ganon as easily as if I were shooting an ice arrow into the back of a skulltula. I was going to find out.

I thought about my past experience with locked doors and moving objects. As the meandering stronghold approached, I lit a bomb and chucked it in its path. The explosion was as loud as ever, and, just as I expected, the beast stopped. I ran around to the back in time to see the guard come out. I hid behind a bush. The guard looked as old as Koume or Kotake. I decided to be extra careful. It didn't look like she'd take prisoners.

There was a problem. I waited... but she didn't leave the porch. I pulled out my bow and found my quiver was empty. I set down my last bombchu to take her attention away from me for the moment. Then I, Link, the Hero of Time, ran.

* * *

Sophie could hardly believe her eyes when she saw a giant, multicolored mouse flee from a bush, cross her path, and explode.

* * *

I searched for another entrance. The dungeon seemed impregnable. But there - a way in! High up on a balcony with a clothesline attached to it . . . a scarecrow! I didn't hesitate to use my hook-shot. Instantly I was pulled up onto the platform.

"Thank you, my fellow music lover," I said to Pierre. He gave me a very queer look, and I do believe he had changed his clothes. I ignored him, and proceeded to enter the dungeon.

There didn't appear to be that many room choices, and the entrance hall seemed rather small. I don't like small entrance halls. Then again, they are to be expected when a side door is taken. I decided to tackle the room with the open door first. I wanted to finish this hall before I went downstairs.

The room was unusually small. The walls were whitish, and a large tub was in the middle. Everything was splattered with paint. There was only one reason for a room this pointless: it was a trap! As soon as I realized this, I turned around, but the door was already locked. Next thing I knew, I was being soaked and scraped by an unknown magical force bearing buckets, brushes, and a bubbly white substance.

Two hours later, I was finally released.

It was a harsh battle, and the field was smeared with paint. My hair felt weird, my skin felt clean, and whatever evil force that inflicted this cleanliness upon me had even the audacity to swab the eyes that had gazed upon Zelda. I noticed the mirror.

I looked good. My hair had never been blonder. No girl could resist my charm. Not Zelda, not Malon, not Saria, not Anju . . . Not Nabooru . . . not Impa . . . not Ruto . . . not the dog woman . . .

I scuffed up my hair, wrinkled my clothes, and rolled around on the floor.

As I finally escaped that chamber and entered the hallway, I heard people coming up the stairs. I ran into another room.

The chamber was filled with gold plated garbage, though the huge bed in the center of the room desired most of the attention. The chamber was silent, and I didn't see anything dangerous or trap-like, so I proceeded to listen to the conversation outside.

"CALCIFER! WHERE'S THE HOT WATER?"

"_SORRY_! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED **TWO** BATHS!"

"Calm down! Howl, just wait in your room, and in three hours, you can take a _nice, long bath_."

"You _promise_?"

". . . Yes."

". . . Okay."

One of the speakers was coming. I dove into the wall of trinkets, which tolled me three hearts. The door opened as I squatted behind the collection. The bed sounded like a chorus of rats.

My three hour wait began.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own neither Howl's Moving Castle nor _The Legend of Zelda_.

"_Link and the Moving Castle_"

Chapter Two: Howl

I wasn't afraid of this "Howl" guy. I really wasn't. He could brag all day if he wanted, but if I had shown myself, he would have screamed. And that would have attracted her, that old lady guard with the face.

I did well at first. I didn't breathe heavily, fidget, or straighten my shirt. Then I noticed I had room behind me. There was a forest of junk complete with wide trails and wildlife extending farther than the eye could see, which wasn't far due to clutter. I began to explore.

Three days.

Three days in that labyrinth doing nothing but smashing killer trinkets, shooting eyes that gave no reaction, and breaking pots that only bore enemies; I hate spiders.

I finally stumbled back to the bed. I crawled under and found a green rupee.

* * *

Sophie and Markl conversed at lunch.

"Markl, I tell you: if Howl doesn't come out of that bathroom soon, I'm going to start slipping dead spiders under the door!"

"No, Sophie! Don't do that!"

"I was just kidding! No telling how he'd react if I killed any of his precious spiders. But three days is ridiculous! If he stays in there any longer, he'll take to courting mermaids because he'd have learned to breathe underwater."

"Sophie? Do you think anything bad has happened to him?"

"No . . . but if something did happen to him in that tub, it couldn't be worse than what my mop bucket has already done . . . or what my broom will do."

Just then, the two of them were startled by screaming coming from the upstairs. There was screaming for about thirty seconds before a howling Howl scampered out of the bathroom sporting a pair of brown breeches and a purple fro. Howl dashed to the stairs, jumped the bannister, and got in Sophie's face, shouting,

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO MESS WITH MY BATHROOM?"

"Don't yell at me! I didn't touch your beauty spells!"

Howl looked like he was about to say something, but instead he sat down into a chair and placed his hands onto his face.

"I can't go on like this . . ."

Green slime excreted from Howl's skin flowed to the floor.

"Howl," Sophie reasoned. "Can't you fix your hair with magic or something?"

Howl's face became the epitome of sarcasm. "What do you think I was trying to do for the last three days? Nothing worked! I was as if someone had smeared my potions all over the walls and rolled in them on the floor... and I know how inventive you are with that mop."

Sophie frowned. "There are always potions smeared on the walls."

"Besides the usual!" Howl scowled. "Even the locking potions were unleashed, sealing that dumb door. Luckily there was a mirror. The sight of me is enough nourishment for years."

"Mere years?" Sophie said doubtfully. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No... my hair ... it's hideous!" He looked up, green goo dripping from his nose. "Someone must pay."

"How much?" Sophie asked. "It wasn't me, but I'm curious."

Link stepped out into the hallway upstairs. He slowly closed Howl's bedroom door behind him. The door clicked.

Howl's sensitive ears heard the door close upstairs. _Another person! _His eyes widened. "With their life!"

He jumped up from the chair and ran up the stairs.

Sophie yelled, "HOWL!" and ran after him. "I JUST MOPPED THOSE STAIRS!"

* * *

I just closed the door when I saw a man with a purple fro running up the stairs.

I quickly reentered Howl's room, but the room had unexpectedly altered. The room was now a shiny-junk covered cavern.

As I ran up the path I glanced behind me.

Howl was oozing and growing large indigo feathers.

The tunnel was dim, but at the end of it, I saw an illuminated large, ornate door.

Howl had begun flying.

I rushed to the door and pushed it open. I ran into a tall, round room with a spiraling wooden pathway leading to the roof. The beast entered behind me. The door locked.

Gallons of green slime pouring from Howl quickly began filling the room.

* * *

Sophie stood at the locked door, pounding furiously. He might have even left the castle by now. She hoped that he wouldn't go too far. She had heard that Howl disappeared for months at a time. She had also heard that Howl might not be able to change back into a human if he took the form of a monster for an extended period of time.

* * *

The slime level continued to rise as I ran up the wooden ramp.

Howl hovered in the center of the chamber.

As soon as I stepped off a section of the climber, he smashed it with his face.

I ran up the last bit of ramp. Howl jumped onto the path before me. I smacked him upside the head with the megaton hammer. He fell. No splash. I ran onto the roof.

The sky was stormy.

The huge bird flew out of the hole in the roof. He roared and contrasted his monstrous deep blue wings with the black clouds.

Talons scraped the roof as they dragged towards me.

I rolled to the right of him.

He flew in a long, lazy circle, turned to face me, and then plowed into the roof again.

I dodged.

I lost sight of him in the clouds, but I spotted him as he turned toward me for another attack.

When I dodged his attack for the third time, he curved skyward and landed on the platform. He hobbled toward me and lowered his head to bite me. His face had become a very sharp beak.

I shielded myself with the mirror shield.

He looked at the shield, shrieked, eyes wide and mouth agape, and collapsed.

He didn't explode. He didn't get back up, either.

I waited.

At sundown, I figured that he wasn't going to explode, nor leave me anything of value.

The way I came was locked and flooded with goo, so I looked down the sides of the building to find a way down. Eventually I found the balcony that I had used to get inside when I had arrived.

I slid down the side of the mechanical monster, landing next to Pierre. I nodded to him. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he gave me a distrusting look.

I reentered the dungeon.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own neither Howl's Moving Castle nor _The Legend of Zelda_.

"_Link and the Moving Castle_"

Chapter Three: Markl's Room

Sophie closed the door to Howl's room. She had waited for him long enough. When he got back, she was going to make him beg for his dinner because of his immaturity.

Sophie stood in the hallway for a bit. She looked up at a corner. A spider nested in it. The castle maid wondered if Howl would be able to tell if she squished it. She readied her broom. The red-eyed arachnid twitched its legs.

Sophie swung! There was a loud smack as the spider bounced out of the broom and landed on the floor. Then something very unexpected happened.

A door opened. Into the hall stepped a little boy wearing green. He came out of the bathroom just in time to see the novel event.

The spider exploded.

As soon as it was gone, an emerald jewel came out of its remains, something that was definitely bigger than the previously living spider had been.

Sophie looked over at Markl.

"Did you see that?"

Markl rubbed his hands on his little green vest.

They both stared at the floating emerald gem.

"What is it, Sophie?"

"I don't know . . ." Sophie slowly said as she reached out to it. It floated above her hand as she lifted it.

"Let's go ask Calcifer!"

The two of them walked down the staircase at the end of the hall.

In that same hallway, out of hearing range, a thud sounded from beyond one of the doors.

The door that lead out to the balcony opened. Wind gusted into the house.

A man about as tall as Howl entered into the moving castle. He was wearing green.

* * *

I, Link, the Hero of Time, had come back victorious from a battle with the Giant Fro Bird, who was still laying on the roof. Though it took a while to defeat him, his intelligence level showed that he was merely the sub-boss.

I stepped back into the annoyingly small entrance hall. I looked left. The dark hall ended with a staircase whose parallel ceiling glowed as if a fire was lit on the basement floor.

I looked right.

The dark, narrow hallway ended with a door with a few stairs leading up to it. There was a window on the door; it was completely black.

I decided to check out the basement. As I approached the stairs, the dungeon swayed. When I reached the edge of the staircase, I looked down and saw the old guard lady.

I swiftly stepped back. It was a good thing that she was looking elsewhere. I listened.

"The spider probably just swallowed one of Howl's earrings."

"Thank you, Calcifer. Well, the storm is clearing up. I'm going out to look for Howl now. Go ahead and get ready for bed, Markl."

"Do I have to go to bed _now_?"

"Yes, Markl! I don't want you up and about while I'm gone. Something fishy is going on. All of my letters have changed languages, Howl's room is a tunnel, and . . . when I was cleaning out one of the jars . . . I found a heart. GO TO BED, MARKL!"

I tried to find a place to hide.

I was not going back into the room with the paint-stained, bubbly man-bowl.

Howl's room, still being in tunnel form, as I had heard, surely held no hiding place.

If I went onto the balcony, I would be trapped.

The building swayed as I stumbled up the stairs up to the dark, scary door and opened it. I stepped into the shadows.

The house jolted.

I turned around in time to see spears fall out of a secret hiding place above the door.

They pinned in a straight row before the door. I was trapped. I looked around.

Pictures of breakfast highlighted the walls. A bed, black in the red glow, sat in the corner ahead of me. A deep brown wooden desk sat under a window next to it. To my left, a dresser leaned next to the door.

I stepped forward. A floor board squeeled as it gave way beneath my foot.

On the far left side of the room, the wall dropped a sector from the middle of it, revealing a secret closet embedded within.

The hidden closet's walls were padded with red cloth and pinned with notes. A teddy bear within had rune-encrypted metal covering one eye. In the center was a dark mass with two thin black wires leading from it to the wall. Those wires disconnected from the shadowy figure.

The mass stepped into the yellow light, revealing a woman with a metal-plated face that bragged the same rune encryptions as the bear. Her eyes were a ghastly red.

"WHO ARE YOU?" it spoke to me.

I . . . yeah.

"I AM THE MOMMATIC. IF YOU MESS WITH MY MARKL, I'LL KILL YOU."

It stepped forward, moaning and groaning. Lightning flashed from the window.

I unsheathed the Master Sword.

It slowly stepped towards me.

I readied my blade.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Spears skidded across the floor as the door flew open.

I watched a little Kokiri run in, stand in front of the MOMMATIC, and spread his arms out protectively against me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING BUSTING INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES LIKE THIS! LEAVE US! GET OUT!"

I was taken aback by his unusually familiar comment.

The MOMMATIC twitched a little, and then its jaw shot out and pounded me in the stomach. I sank to my knees. The world became dark.

Reentering the dungeon from the balcony, I decided that going in that Kokiri's room had not been my best idea.

I walked over to the stairs and promptly remembered the guard.

I looked at the dark room behind me.

The MOMMATIC was indeed powerful.

But I couldn't go to the basement yet. If Ms. Scary Wrinkles Face caught me, I might not be able to escape . . . even through death. Besides, I knew now what to do. I reentered the bedroom.

About twenty seconds later, the metal-faced female approached me again.

I brought my ocarina to my lips. The glow of piercing red eyes froze in the background. The moaning was prominent.

I played the Song of Healing.

The MOMMATIC moaned intensly. The room blurred.

The song worked its magic.

Her face was no longer exposed metal, but rather it had the appearance of real skin. Her eyes had become realistic in contrast to the red lights she had before.

She looked at her hands in awe and slight confusion.

Suddenly, the little Kokiri boy entered.

He, seemingly forgetting me, ran up to her and cried:

"MOMMA!"

She held him in her arms gently and tenderly, as a robot must learn, and realized:

"Oh, Markl! Your hugs are so warm!"

Markl sniffled.

"Sorry I couldn't make you perfect before, but now we can all be together! Right, momma?"

She patted him on the head.

"Its okay, Markl. You already have a mother."

"What do you mean?" He looked up questioningly.

"That Sophie really does make a perfect mother for you. I met her once. She was cleaning up your room for you when she stumbled upon me. Though I didn't move, she confided in me as though I was real. She understood why you made me, and why you hid me from her. She thanked me for taking care of you when you needed someone motherly."

She chuckled.

"Then she stumbled off muttering something about becoming senile. She really was very kind, even in secret. She could probably protect you more than I could . . . When I'm gone, I know you'll be safe in her hands."

Markl hugged her tightly.

"Sophie is too old to be my mom."

"I'm too young to be your mom."

"That's different."

"Go to bed."

"What!"

I turned to leave.

* * *

Author's Note: When the Mommatic's jaw popped out, Link died and had to restart. When the Song of Healing was performed, the Mommatic became perfected as a machine. She did not become a real person.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own neither Howl's Moving Castle nor _The Legend of Zelda_.

_"Link and the Moving Castle"_

Chapter Four: Twinkle 0.9

I turned to leave.

"WAIT!"

I looked back. Markl stood up and asked me, "Who are you?"

"I AM TWINKLE 0.9."

We three looked at the bed to see the voice's owner. Markl appeared alarmed.

"Oh no..." he said. "The voice activation! I forgot to fix him!"

A large stuffed doll stood up on the bed. It had yellow yarn for hair, a trim little outfit, and a most cruel grin. Being the clever guy I am, I played the Song of Healing.

"I am Twinkle 1.0," the robot laughed. Then he began to sing.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little thtar..."

The Kokiri and the Mommatic were snatched up and tossed into the hidden apartment by wires. The doors shut tight, leaving no trace that there ever was a room there.

"How I wonder what you are..."

The doll floated higher.

"Up above the world tho high..."

Furniture was stored into the walls.

"Like a diamond in the thky..."

The room stretched and twisted into the size of a boss room.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little thtar.."

The doll pulled out a huge fork.

"How I wonder what you _taste like_."

* * *

Sophie would only admit this to herself. Sophie _could_ admit it only to herself. She was lost and alone.

She had been searching in the woods for Howl on foot and had lost sight of the moving castle.

"Howl could be anywhere!" she spoke to herself. "Where is Calcifer taking that castle, anyway? I know that Suliman has sent out a search and capture warrant for Howl, but does Calcifer even know where we are?"

The woods became dense, and in an attempt to squeeze between two trees, Sophie fell off of a small cliff and into a cube-like hole. Horizontal hollow trees provided exits in each cardinal direction.

"Hoot, hoot, hoot!"

Sophie looked up into the trees. A rather large bird, larger than any natural one, sat in a branch. It was hard to see in the dark blue twilight.

"Howl!" Sophie exclaimed in anger and relief.

"Hoot?"

"Don't "hoot" me! I know it's you!"

"Ma'am?" The bird said.

"I've been worried sick, looking all over for you! Come down now and come home!"

The bird spread his wings, and began to fly away.

"Oh, NO YOU DON"T!" Sophie grabbed onto the back of the bird, and they flew off into the blue twilight.

* * *

Again Twinkle 1.0 charged electricity into the fork and discharged it toward me. Again I deflected it with the master sword. Again he deflected it with his fork. Again I deflected it with my sword. Finally a solid blow landed on him. He lurched and sputtered.

The second stage began.

Four blue hooded cloaks came from a closet in the wall, each with its own beard. The Twinkle 1.0 put on one, and they all orbited me equidistantly. They slowly rotated, and one of them spun once. I shot that one with an arrow. They all were drawn up to the ceiling, as if by strings. Down they came again. One spun. I shot it with an arrow. Up they went. Down they came. One spun. I shot it with an arrow. Up. Down. This time, none of them spun. I shot the one with Twinkle 1.0's face in it.

Twinkle 1.0 stomped his feet and pulled his cloak. The cloak ripped. Twinkle 1.0 threw his hands up and released an ear-piercing yell. The ceiling shifted.

I looked up and saw the ceiling giving way. A giant omelet began bearing down.

I shot Twinkle 1.0 with an arrow. This time, he deflected it. He cackled. I played the Oath to Order on my ocarina.

It seems I was a few Giants short. I ran to the corner of the room.

The omelet hit the ground with a slam and immediately began sizzling.

"DO YOU GIVE UP?" Sophie yelled against the rushing wind. The bird said nothing.

The eggs were ready. Twinkle 1.0 used his fork to shape them into a giant ball, and then he dived into it. The ball began rotating towards me.

I shot an arrow at it. Nothing. I dodged out of the way. I used the long-shot on it. I was instantly drawn to the giant egg mass. It rolled and pinned me against the wall. I squirmed my way out. I activated Din's Fire. The egg mass caught on fire. It rotated towards me.

* * *

Sophie and the giant bird landed in a field before a large stone wall.

"Okay." Sophie demanded. "Who are you really?"

The bird puffed out his chest, ruffled his wings, and replied, "I am Kaepora Gaebora. Who may you be?"

"I am Sophie Hatter. May I inquire of you where I am?"

"You are in the kingdom of Hyrule."

* * *

After much of my running, the omelet eventually extinguished itself. I hit it with the megaton hammer. It twirled faster. I hit it again and again. Eventually, it was going so fast that when it hit the wall, it splattered. Twinkle 1.0 sat still in the mess. His eyes lit up. He began floating and metal hairs came out of his back.

He shot a laser at me. I reflected it back using the mirror shield. He fell to the ground. I attempted to finish him with the master sword. He flipped and twirled. Two spoons extended from his arms, and two knives extended from his legs. His neck stitching ripped when his neck extended. Then he began dancing.

He ran off, then back, then away, then he hit me with the spoons, then he ran away again. Eventually I tripped him. He took a tantrum right there on the floor. I gave him a good spanking with my hammer. He jumped up.

The mainframe expanded. The clothing tore. The fluff and threads fell to the floor. He took off his fake face to reveal an iron, intricately designed humanoid body. It bent, crossed its arms, and whipped out two long iron whips.

It whipped at me in a twirling motion. I shot it with a light arrow. Electricity coursing through its body caused it to become cramped. I took my chance and delivered the final attack with the master sword.

It screeched and reeled, and finally it became stiff.

I waited.

Nothing.

I waited a bit longer.

"Twinkle, Twinkle, RRRRRR RRR...

HOW I WONDER WHAT OO ARRRRRRR..."

I ran to the far end of the room to the door.

"UP ABOVE ZZZ RRRRR ZZ iiii..."

Light beams began shooting out of it.

"LIKE A FIRE BALL IN YOUR EYE."

It exploded.

I was shot out the door and tumbled down the stairs.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own neither Howl's Moving Castle nor _The Legend of Zelda_.

"_Link and the Moving Castle_"

Chapter Five: Calcifer

It was night in Hyrule Field. Kaepora Gaebora had flown away minutes ago. Sophie spotted the castle approaching from the forest in the East. It wasn't deviating from its course, but would take some time to reach her. She decided to walk toward it to reach it faster.

Link awoke on the kitchen floor of Howl's moving castle. The only light in the room came from the hearth. Link stood up and analyzed his surroundings. No one else was visible to his eyes. He looked at every corner of the room to see if there were any secrets to be found. He planned to enter the final door next.

After analyzing every object, from the floorboards to the cobwebs, he did the only thing left he could do. He sat in the chair by the fire.

Nothing. He got up to leave.

"Hey. Hey, you!"

Link looked around.

"Hey! Look here!"

Link looked into the fire. The fire looked back.

"What's up?"

Link gave the flame an inquisitive look.

"What?" the flame asked. "Never seen a fire demon before?"

Link stared. He had seen at least four by now. All of them had attacked him.

"I'm Calcifer", the fire continued. "I run this here castle. What were you doing upstairs? Howl doesn't like strangers upstairs. How did you get in? What were those explosions from earlier?"

Link didn't respond. The flame glared.

"Wait… Where is Howl?"

Link glanced slightly upward. Calcifer looked up, too. The fire entity disappeared.

Up on the roof, a pavilion rose out of the ground. In the middle of it was a burning log with Calcifer in it. He had made it because it was dangerous for him to leave the castle. He gazed upon the large dark form of an indigo bird barely able to be made out in the fire's glow. The bird had a purple fro, bloody drool dripping from his mouth, and glazed eyes.

Calcifer was enraged.

Down in the kitchen, the hearth exploded with sparks and heat.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

The logs screamed as the fire spirit enlarged.

**Domesticated Combustion Entity  
**

**CALCIFER**

* * *

I, Link, the Hero of Time, was fighting for my life. I couldn't get very close to the fire place because of the intense heat. The demon lashed out at me with fiery arms in an attempt to burn me. Some times I successfully dodged. Other times I didn't. Nothing seemed to work to stop him. Calcifer did not lull in his attacks. Every time he consumed something, he became stronger for a time.

None of my weapons seemed to affect him in any way, even ice arrows. Calcifer tensed up and charged energy. He released the energy in a large wave of heat. My shield hardly did anything to protect me. Spiders dropped from their webs and crawled toward me. I readied my blade.

* * *

"Almost there..." Sophie said to herself.

* * *

This fight was going on longer than I had expected. Then I had an idea.

I took out my hook-shot, aimed, and grappled one of the logs out of the fireplace. A hot log landed at my feet. Calcifer dimmed for a moment, and then sprouted up again in a vibrant blue. The heat barrier lengthened. Calcifer dropped dancing flames on the floor that jiggled toward me. I grappled another log toward myself. The polished floorboards caught fire. Calcifer disappeared momentarily before sprouting up in a fiery green body. Smoke filled the room and clouded my vision.

I stood my ground, pulled out the hook-shot, and pulled the trigger. The hook plunged itself into a log and drew it from the hearth. It landed at my feet. The fire place darkened quickly. Soon only ashes were left.

* * *

"Finally! Home again!" Sophie sighed as she approached the door to the castle.

* * *

I looked at the flaming mass on the floor amidst the flaming logs. It was a heart. The heart did not hop away, but it pumped quietly and burned with a low blue fire.

I stood over it.

Nothing.

I tried adding the heart to my collection of heart containers.

It didn't work.

I thought back to my experience.

I finished the job.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own neither Howl's Moving Castle nor _The Legend of Zelda_.

"_Link and the Moving Castle"_

Chapter Six: Oops

"Oh. That was nice of him." old Sophie Hatter thought to herself. "Calcifer doesn't usually stop the castle for me." She stepped inside.

"Calcifer! I'm home! Has Howl-"

Sophie stopped. The room was dark and very warm. The hearth was empty. Smoldering logs lay on the floor. A man stood amidst them.

"Calcifer?" Sophie whispered hopefully. Sophie ran to a corner and got a broom, and then brandished the hard end at the stranger.

"Who are you? How did you get in here? What did you do to Calcifer?"

The man put up his hands in slight surrender, reached into his tunic, and pulled out a glass bottle. In the bottle was Howl's heart with Calcifer glowing blue on it.

"Let him out onto the logs this instant! ...Stop looking at me as if I'm crazy! I know what he is, but he is not dangerous to those he knows. Just let him out."

The man hesitated a moment, pulled the cork off of the bottle, held the bottle out at arm's length, and swallowed the heart whole. He died instantly.

* * *

After reentering the dungeon, I decided that using a bottle without looking at the intended recipient was not my best idea. I went into the basement and sat in the chair, and then got up.

Nothing happened. the fire looked and acted like a normal fire.

I looked around, rolled into the walls and tried going out the door. I ended up on the porch. I turned the handle. Locked.

Going around the moving castle back to the side with Pierre, I noticed that I was now in the forest outside the Lost Woods, the way I had come to find the meandering dungeon. I hook-shot Pierre and was drawn up to the balcony once again. He had that same distrusting look as before. I went inside.

I stumbled up the stairs up to the dark, scary door. I leaned into it. It squeaked open. I fell into the darkness. The door slammed on the light.

In summery, the exact same thing occurred except when I didn't perform the Song of Healing for Twinkle 0.9.

The dysfunctional robotic playmate stood up on the bed and began to sing.

"TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE THTAR. HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE."

Mommatic rushed Markl into the closet and shut the door behind them.

"UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH, LIKE A DIAMOND IN THE SKY…"

Twinkle 0.9 fell off the bed. Face on the ground, it finished its melody.

"TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE THTAR. HOW I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE."

It exploded. I flew out the door and down the stairs.

Upon awakening, I walked over to the fireplace, took out an empty bottle, scooped up Calcifer and his heart into it, dropped in a piece of wood, and stuck the cork on. My work being done, I walked back up the stairs and opened the door to Markl's room. It was a hole, with the exception of the window and the hidden closet that Mommatic and Markl had hidden in. I tried to open the door to the balcony, but found that I couldn't. Upon looking out the window, I discovered a mass of indigo feathers. I reentered Howl's room. It had returned to bedroom format. I opened the chamber of bubbles. Nothing happened. I walked back down the stairs and opened the front door. The old guard lady sat on it with her back to me. I quietly closed the door.

The door squeaked. The elderly woman turned around. I leapt over her head and ran.

I turned around. She was right on my heels. We both stopped. Slowly and surely, the castle collapsed.

Afterwards, I found that Markl and Mommatic were perfectly fine, Howl was back in human form, still wearing the fro. Upon closer inspection, it was discovered that the scarecrow who had assisted my entrance into the castle was not Pierre nor his friend, but it was actually a new scarecrow with the head of a turnip. The elderly lady was not a guard but the castle maid, and was not old but young and cursed. Her name is Sophie Hatter. This I discovered in a manner I did not appreciate.


End file.
